The Purpose of Life is to Live it..not to spend all of it searching for the purpose. Live Live Live like every second was your last.
Blogging frommy heart
Published on June 9, 2004 By Phoenixboi In Blogging
Im going to take a little twist on my blogging.

It's taken courage to write about this on here. At first I thought I shouldnt bring it up. But it is a part of me, and what has made me who I am today, especially how I view the world. So here it goes...

Ive been living with HIV (Human Immunodificency Virus) since I was 18, I am now 31. In that time I have seen people die around me, people reject me, people learn from me and people love me in ways I never dreamed imaginable.

To me living with HIV is a part of my everyday existence. You could say I've learnt to live with it. There isn't anything glamerous about it. It's life changing and it never goes away.

At the moment I am well. Really well. I have around 400 t cells, my viral load is around 230. It hasnt always been this good. The road has been rough along the way. I currently am on a regieme of medications called Anti retrovirals. I take them when I wake up and I take them when I go to bed. This ensures my constant reminder that i am living with this Virus. I can never forget it.

The Virus comes up everytime I have sex. Everytime I feel ill. Everytime I meet someone and form a relationship with them. It comes up everytime I bleed. The virus is like another entity living within my body with its own life. I am its host. I have learnt to accept its rythymn and flow with it, not to disrupt it or it kicks up a fuss like a baby.

At times I hate it. At times I feel like a leper. At times I feel like death. But with all this there are times when living with this virus has taught me alot about life.

It's a very personal issue for me. But hopefully I can help others going through it that read this, and hopefully I can help others who dont have to understand more about it. Maybe it will help save others from going through the same experience. I dont know what it will do but I know that most importantly I can have an outlet to express how I feel, and maybe it will help me heal in some way.

I first come into contact with this virus at the age of 18. I met this guy and had sex with him. Loads of sex. All of it was unprotected. At that time I didnt think about HIV, i was invincible, in my prime. Besides he was a counsellor for people living with HIV. If he had it he would have told me and he would have protected me from it. Unfortunately that wasnt the case. He had it. He didnt care. He didnt say anything to me. So I got sick.

I vividly remember going to the doctors with lymph glands in my neck swollen wondering why and the doctor asking me if I wanted a HIV test. I didnt think anything of it. Of course I didnt have it. Two weeks later the tests came back inconclusive. I had to have another test, this time it came back positive. He informed me that I had at most 6 months good health left, that I was going to die and that I had to inform my family and people I had come into sexual contact with.

I was 18. I hadnt come out to any of my family. I had a vision of my future. I was no longer invincible.

I confronted the guy. It didnt seem to bother him too much. I let out my anger. Why didnt he tell me? Why did he let this happen to me? Why did I let this happen to myself?. What was going to happen to me now?.

First thing I did was try and absorb as much information as possible on the virus. What it meant to have it, what my prospects were, what I could do and could no longer do. There wasnt much information back then. I was going to die. I had to get my life in order. I had to tell the people I loved, and I had to prepare for death.

Since that time I have seen my doctor every month. I have had that many blood tests that my veins are scarred with the needles. I have come to know more about my body and my immune system. I have taken toxic drugs to help fight it. I have taken herbs and potions to help my body. I have worked with people living with HIV, set up support groups, experimented with different methods of healing and talked with alot of people.

Thankfully I no longer am preparing for imminent death. Forteen years have passed and I am still here. I am healthy. I have the support and love from the majority of my family and friends. For this I am most thankful.

No longer do I have a vision of my future. No longer do I feel invincible. No longer do I see the world through the same eyes. I am still alive. Everyday counts. Everyday I learn something new. Everyday something changes.

As im about to post this..it has just started to rain. Only a little.







Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 09, 2004
Wow thank you for posting this. I have never met anyone living with HIV, so I really appreciate you telling your story. It makes the epidemic more real to me.
on Jun 10, 2004
Thanks for reading Janders and for your encouragement.
on Jun 10, 2004
Yeah - thanks so much for sharing mate... you have done the right thing... It might assist some of the haters around here to see the human side of the desease, rather than just cast it of as some desease that homosexuals deserve... for shame...

I cant really express how i feel in my writing about the issue, but i appreciate your candour ever so much... I have a lot of respect for you mate... except, right now, I want to really smack the idiot that gave it to you... that was so far from cool it's not funny...

Thanks again mate...

BAM!!!
on Jun 10, 2004
Thanks Muggaz.
much appreciated.

there is a huge complaicency around at the moment that hiv is only a gay thing, im involved with some groups at the moment which researches the general population on this issue. Unfortunately alot of people have forgotten that this disease doesnt discriminate. The next wave is coming with this.

on Jun 10, 2004
Thanks for posting this...although I now have a lump in my throat that's affecting my fingers too...Best of luck and stay strong, that's all I can say.
on Jun 10, 2004
Thanks Mack. If anything this has made me strong in all areas of my life. I appreciate your comment
on Jun 10, 2004
WHEN I WAS A TEEN I GOT ALL MESSED UP ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. TODAY, I AM STILL HAVING SOME PROBLEMS BUT NOT AS MANY. I LEARNED THAT DRUGS CAN KILL YOU SO I STOPPED USING THEM.

BOY!!!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND STOP DOING THE THINGS THAT MADE YOU SICK. THATS ONLY COMMON SENSE. GOD GAVE US A BRAIN TO USE PROPERLY. LEARN HOW TO AVOID VICES AND PROBLEMS AND YOU WILL LIVE LONG.
on Jun 10, 2004
Wow!!!

Thanks man - that's so great - 14years!!

I'm in the middle of watching Angels in America (part 3 is tonight) and I'm seeing these 2 characters struggling and it's so surreal - my only real connection to the virus is what I see in the media - example Philidelphia (tom hanks) or that movie with the woman who gets a blood transfusion that's got the HIV virus and affects her husband and unborn child - unknowingly.

Although I don't know you personally I feel like I know you through your writings better then I do Tom Hanks' character in the movie.
Thankyou for sharing something this big with total strangers - it must be hard.

on Jun 10, 2004
Thanks Trina_p!
Im glad i can make it more real for you and other people. This virus affects alot of people in our community more than what most are aware of. Because of the meds people are living longer and well.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the movie. The emotions are real.
on Jun 10, 2004
Marvin
I dont believe I have made any "mistakes" in my life.

My view of life is totally different to yours obviously. I consider life a series of lessons, of experiences. I dont believe anything to be right or wrong. I believe we either do something or we dont. Every action has a consequence, a reaction.

I am so greatful of all the experiences I have had in my life. They all have helped me to be who I am today.

From what you say I could be a "perfect" christian and still get hit by a bus tomorrow, I could have contracted this virus through transfusion. My life is what it is. No mistakes. No regrets.
on Jun 10, 2004

No longer do I have a vision of my future. No longer do I feel invincible. No longer do I see the world through the same eyes. I am still alive. Everyday counts. Everyday I learn something new. Everyday something changes.


Phoenixboi~wow! This is one of the most moving blogs I have read here so far~thanks for telling us your story! I can relate to so much of what you say here~although for different reasons.


I've known many people with HIV and full-blown AIDS. Lost two very good friends to the illness so far. I've seen the ignorance and hysteria that can result from not being educated on the subject, and learning a simple fact or two (the info is out there, and has been for many years.). The bottom line is this: Many folks still consider this a gay disease. Never mind that many heterosexuals have had it too. Or else people still think only heroin addicts become infected. I honestly don't understand how anyone can still think that after all these years have gone by. It's a kind of self righteous denial. And it disturbs me to no end.


I saw how folks treated some of my friends with AIDS. Playing the blame game. Well, if you only had stopped having gay sex. Then none of this would have happened. Say what? Can you imagine somebody speaking to a straight person like that? To tell an infected mother with a child that is also infected that if she only had not had sex with her husband (perhaps he contracted the virus from a dirty needle). Nobody is gonna be that callous (and misguided) towards her. At least I would hope not! So why blame gay people then? It's just a kind of prejudice (and ignorance) coming out big time. And there's no reason for it. All the information you need is out there. There are so many hotlines and books and even a video or two that you can check out from your local library for free. Nobody has an excuse NOT to understand that this disease is NOT about playing the blame game, and also that it can affect all groups of people regardless of their sexual orientation. AIDS does not discriminate. Period.


This is a strong topic for me, because of the friends I have loved and lost. And because of the shabby treatment from the government I saw them have to endure (simply to stay alive for another year or so). BUT I am very glad you wrote this, and that many JU folks are offering you some kind words of support. I would like to do the same for you now. You seem like a very brave and caring person, and I truly admire that about you.


Plus you are trying to educate us (through your example), and that is a very noble thing to do. Something tells me you're gonna beat this disease! You lived so long with it, and now folks are living longer and longer with it, so I truly hope you live many, many more years, and perhaps even manage to see the day when a cure is discovered at last. It's been a long time coming. Too many wonderful people have been needlessly lost. So keep on hanging in there for all of us! And thanks for helping us to see the very human face of this most tragic disease. You will always be a remarkable person to me.


~MadPoet


P.S. If you ever wanna chat with somebody about this stuff, please feel free to contact me on my own website. I will gladly be your cyber friend. I have a kind of terminal illness myself~chronic clinical depression. So I know all about the daily struggle issues you describe here so well. AND WELCOME TO THE JOEUSER FAMILY BIG TIME!


www.thewelfaredude.blogspot.com

on Jun 10, 2004
PHOENOXBOI..............EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. I HAVE MADE MORE THAN I CAN KEEP TRACK OF. I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU DONT KNOW THERES RIGHT AND WRONG. THERE DEFINITELY IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY FOR EVERYTHING. IF I WOULD HAVE KEPT USING DRUGS, I WOULD BE DEAD TODAY. TAKING DRUGS WAS WRONG. I HAD THE SENSE TO STOP. YOU GAYS MUST REALIZE THE HARM IN YOUR LIFE STYLE AND CHANGE YOUR WAYS ALSO. GODS RULES ARE TO PROTECT US, NOT HARM US.
on Jun 10, 2004
Holy crud it takes guts to post something of this nature. I had an Aids test once, long ago, in fact around the same time you contracted it. I ended a relationship with someone who can only be labelled a cheating whore who never used protection. I found this out and was at the clinic in minutes. Thank Allah/Buddha/God I was clear. Please spread the message that protection is a MUST. I'm curious, how does your partner feel about sex when you have aids? Of course he knows I'm sure, but does it phase him at all? It would be a brave man who has no gumption about making love with someone with HIV. Good for you Phoenix. But one thing: you have the courage to say this here, so have the courage to admit you've made a mistake in your life. We all have. Some are bigger than others, but we all have. Peace.
on Jun 10, 2004
What a brave and wonderful post! I can not even come close to imagining how it feels to live with such a disease and it's wonderful that you are beating it! The sin committed here is the one committed against you.
on Jun 10, 2004
What sin is that wisefawn? Being ostrasized? That I'd accept. Peace.
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