I look back on my life and wonder wha is it that sparked an interest in the wonders of the universe and why we are here.
As a kid I remember looking out to the night sky and wondering if we really were the only ones here. Inside me I knew this was not the case. I used to ask to be shown, to be taken away as I really didnt feel like I belonged here on this earth. Maybe this had to do with the fact that at the age of nine I knew I was somewhat different to everyone else.
Different but didnt know why it was so, or what it was that was different about me. I just didnt belong.
Looking at the night sky I used to feel comfort. I used to count the stars and make my own shapes out of them wondering how far and how long it would take for me to ge there. So I used to close my eyes. And I was there. Lands surrounded by comfort and light where beings of beauty would take me on walks and talk to me about things.
In my dreams I used to be wisked away by crafts of light, fleets of them used to come overhead. There was turmoil on the earth but in the sky everything was peaceful. At dusk I used to do a small ritual to the brightest star, planting seeds in honour of her and offering the life that sprung forth from the seeds to her. During the day I used to converse with the Sun. Knowing that in its eternity it has seen me in various lifeforms and comforted me during the many turbulent times past.
At the age of nine this was all that made me smile. Everything else around me was chaotic. Family, friends, school. They offered no sense of serenity, like what I gained from the Sun and the night sky.
to be continued...