The Purpose of Life is to Live it..not to spend all of it searching for the purpose. Live Live Live like every second was your last.
Published on December 12, 2004 By Phoenixboi In Blogging
What is with the recent spate of suicidals on JU?

There seems to be a big cry out for help at the moment from some recent bloggers wanting to end it all.

Is life really that painful that you want to end it?

I spend most of my life trying to find ways to live. Trying to prolong life by taking a huge amount of medication that is extremely toxic to my body yet it is supposed to help fight a virus that is slowly taking it over. I try to manage a range of side effects ranging from extreme nausea to constant fatigue. Im trying to build up my body so it can take the pain that it is going through and the pain that is inevitably to come. Im trying to fight to live.

Why? Why do I do this? Because I realise that life is worth the battle, that it is in this battle that we become stronger as individuals and as a human race. That as an individual Im not going to let this virus or anyone else dictate to me how Im going to live or die.

When things look really bad and I feel like all is at a loss I remember that there are people worse off than me. That I have it good. That there are people that love me even though at times it gets really fucking lonely. We are meant to go through these times, the dark nights of the soul so that we can heal ourselves from the pain and maybe in the process learn more about ourselves so that we can help others and ourselves. We arent given in life what we cannot handle. We must be pretty special to be given these challenges. We must be worth it.

Who gives a fuck about others some people say? Do they really give a fuck about me? Well yeah they do. JU is a good example of this, as an online community we are helping each other, we are there for each other and we do care for each other.

Come on people. It really isnt that bad. There are people worse off than you on this planet. If we want to whinge about our lives then check out what the rest of the world is going through and put your life in perspective. Be strong. Love yourself cause unless you do noone else is going to. Show everyone out there that you do mean something, and in your own way try and make a difference to this planet.

Your gonna die someday. Be it today, tommorrow or in ten years time. Make the most of it. Be thankful for what you got and for what you havent got. Things may seem bad now but really they could be much worse. Show yourself and others that you gave it your best shot, that you are a fighter, a bearer of light, a damn good human being, a rebel who isnt going to give up. Your part of this drama called life. Without you it wont be the same.

Comments
on Dec 12, 2004
It seems the net has become the biggest stage for drama in recent history. Go to any chatroom, you will find drama of every description. In chatrooms that i visited, people went as far as dying, only to return a few days later with a new screen name, but unmistakenly the same person.
The Blog, it seems, has developed into a mega chatroom of late. Friendships are made, ideas are shared, much more than simply writing the toughts you might have at a given moment.
Drama has been running high on this site for awhile now, but that's all it is...drama! Talk of suicide is drama in many cases. If one really wanted to do themselves in, they would, they wouldn't talk about it or threaten to do it. It's a keen attention getting device.
There are people here with real medical situations, you included PB... there are people here whose family situation is in shambles, talk of suicide does not solve any of these problems, only a change in attitude can do it.
You Phoenix are truly a great example to all of us here . Your attitude is great, your wisdom is great and your presense here is a wonderful inspiration to all of us here.
on Dec 12, 2004
I, for one, wont miss ya.


make that two...
on Dec 12, 2004
That time of year? Need someone to tell them it will be ok? Just want the attention? Confused and scared? Want to know someone cares? Who knows. I know I've wanted to die often enough (and to some extent still do). But at the same time, I agree with you, life is too important to just roll over and die. And perhaps getting through whatever is troubling these various people will enable them to grow and be strong enough next time life kicks them up the side of the head, as it tends to do all too often.
on Dec 12, 2004
You said it all, PB...right on!
on Dec 12, 2004
Reply By: (Anonymous User)Posted: Saturday, December 30, 1899


Was this a dead person trying to post??
on Dec 12, 2004
Was this a dead person trying to post??


That's so strange PB...that post was from me, then my computer siezed up and it was posted twice... so I went to edit and deleted the first entry...it said Anonymous Used 1899...but now it says Manopeace... I think there are ghosts here on JU playing havoc
on Dec 12, 2004
Drama has been running high on this site for awhile now, but that's all it is...drama! Talk of suicide is drama in many cases. If one really wanted to do themselves in, they would, they wouldn't talk about it or threaten to do it. It's a keen attention getting device.


Hey Mano maybe we should write a Soapie and call it "the Blogged and the Banished".. fully equipt with the evils that have been and the beauties that still remain.. I agree with you though if your gonna kill yourself you wouldnt write about it.
No shit, PB....i recently saw a suicide post (via tylenol and nyquil of all things) simply because a girls b/f charged some beer on her credit card and didnt return her phone calls


Hey LW i saw that too.. it got me scratching my head cause to me it was very petty, but obviously for her very real. But like you know with the stuff you go through day to day as well as me we would be dead a thousand times over if we were gonna kill ourselves over stuff that happens every day of our lives.

I keep thinking about what a Buddhist monk once told me.. you kill yourself, youll be back and what you thought you were going through in your last life was bad, magnify it by a thousand and that is your next lifetime.

I know I've wanted to die often enough (and to some extent still do). But at the same time, I agree with you, life is too important to just roll over and die.

Dont worry Danny you will die just like every one of us will die, dont go wishing for it to be sooner than you need it to be.
on Dec 12, 2004
Im all for that soap idea...I'll have to write a blog now asking who should star in it
on Dec 12, 2004
I think there are ghosts here on JU playing havoc


MAybe the ghosts of Christmas..(ahem..bloggers) past?
I'll have to write a blog now asking who should star in it


Count me in!
on Dec 12, 2004
Great post PB.
on Dec 12, 2004
Great post PB.


Thanks SSG
on Dec 12, 2004
You said it all, PB...right on!


Marcie..you know what Im talking about. Thanks!
on Dec 12, 2004
This may sound harsh, but if yer that fucking delicate, do yourself and the world a favor and go ahead and end it now.


Survival of the fittest.

Outstanding post, PB!

on Dec 12, 2004
Things may seem bad now but really they could be much worse. Show yourself and others that you gave it your best shot, that you are a fighter, a bearer of light, a damn good human being, a rebel who isnt going to give up. Your part of this drama called life. Without you it wont be the same.


The thing is, phoenix, when your deep in the middle of it, you can't see that. You don't want to fight and you can't see a resolution to your problems. All you know is that you hurt so deeply that you can't imagine anything more painful or devastating.
on Dec 12, 2004
The thing is, phoenix, when your deep in the middle of it, you can't see that. You don't want to fight and you can't see a resolution to your problems. All you know is that you hurt so deeply that you can't imagine anything more painful or devastating


Texas.. thats when I get the handbag out and start waving it around... look out whos in the way! .. I know it's hard Im not trying to make a joke of it but honey in the end through it all you become a stronger person with much more experience and hopefully a bigger smile.