Well I am finally home from hospital.
What was that all about? I was in hospital for over a week, it feels weird to be on the outside. It's like Ive been asleep or away, I feel displaced, like I am on another planet or have been on another planet and things look all different to me.
It's now spring. My garden has new growth and it is getting warmer. The air feels nice, it's fresh. The sun feels warm and tingly on my skin. It's like Ive discovered something new. I look at myself in the mirror and find someone different looking back at me. Life feels different, kinda numb. Like Ive stepped off the merry go round and watching it now go round and wondering where I am going to step on it again or if Im going to walk away and find something new.
Ive got alot of things to think about.
Ive stopped smoking too. That's a good thing. New oxygen is pumping through my veins. My cells are regenerating. Everything that once was is no longer. Life has a new sort of meaning. Almost like the seeds I planted in winter and the past few years are now sprouting in the spring of 2004.
This is the spring of my life. New beginnings, new adventures, new outlooks.
It's amazing what time in hospital can do. It's amazing what meaning we give to our lives when we are on the merry go round. Life is life. Living is living. One day we do it the other we don't. How awake are we really during the day? Are we really living our lives.
That aint a question. It's something Ive just found out. And Ive got a smile on my face.