What if?

The butterfly effect

Published on August 10, 2004 By Phoenixboi In Blogging

I watched a really good movie the yesterday. It's called the Butterfly Effect. It had a really deep impact on me for the rest of the day. I wont go into what the movie is about because I think people should watch it, but basically it is about the Chaos theory and how everything effects everything.

One of the main things that effected me from the movie was the question " what if?".

What if I hadnt met the guy who gave me HIV.. would I still have become infected? What if I had pursued relationships with women would I have been a suppressed homosexual in a straight relationship? What if I had stayed at Uni and pursued a career in Education would I have still lived at home and not moved to Byron where I met the guy? What if I stayed in the eight year relationship I was in would I have still been unhappy? What if I had turned the corner instead of going straight would I ???

The list I suppose is endless in the what ifs of my life. But with all that would I be where I am now and not have met the people I have met or learnt the lessons I have learnt in my life? I guess the movie has unlocked some part of my life where I am now trying to understand how life is with the decisions I have made throughout it.

Is there an alternative life out there with endless possibilities where I in split seconds can change the entire course of my life if I go left instead of right? Is this life being lived at the same time I am living this life I live now?

Im full of questions and my brain at the moment is going a million miles an hour.

So what if I do something which would be totally out of character and against what I would normally do? What effect would that have on my life and would it alter the course of it?.

Should I be thinking like this? Is it a matter of just living life in the "moment" and deciding on what I would like in the moment rather than having a plan, which from what I have experienced changes all the time, due to circumstance rather than will.

So Karma comes back into the forefront of my life at the moment. Cause and effect. Do this and the effect will be that. Its all very interesting at the moment.

Comments

trina_p

on Aug 10, 2004

Oh PB don't go there.

Look it's my opinion that for every negative there's a lesson to be learnt and a positive to come out of it -- but maybe its just a way to make the bad stuff seem okay ...

Manopeace

on Aug 10, 2004

I don't like the What If situations...I think its healthier to dwell on WHAT NOW....

Phoenixboi

on Aug 10, 2004

for every negative there's a lesson to be learnt and a positive to come out of it

Hey Trina, yeah I think the same.

What is it that makes us think a negative is a negative and a positive a positive? Is it because of the way we feel inside? Wouldnt a negative then be a positive when out of the so called negative comes a positive? Am I making sense?

You gotta see this movie Trina.

Phoenixboi

on Aug 10, 2004

I think its healthier to dwell on WHAT NOW....

With the What NOW Manopeace doesnt it come What if? In the NOW arent we presented with certain choices we can make? So what If we make a choice which we wouldnt normally make what would that do to alter the course of our lives as they are now? What if in the NOW we turned left instead of right. WHO would we encounter and WHat will happen if it is something we wouldnt normally do?

trina_p

on Aug 10, 2004

You gotta see this movie Trina.

Nah, I'm not big on thrillers and scary movies -- plus I once went back to the very wrost things that happened in my life and traced them from when I was 3ish and sexually abused to the courtcase at 13 to my nana dying to how I became a Christian to how I met Nick got married and had a baby --- it's all connected and I wouldn't want to change a thing anymore - because of the butterfly effect -- we gotta take the bad with the good and the good with the bad

And I'm saying this now mainly for myself - because my friend Jess has been diagnosed with Leukemia and I know that somewhere there is a lesson and a positive experience to come ... I need to believe that right now or I'll fall apart

Where've you been PB I've missed you this weekend (and where's MadPoet??)

Manopeace

on Aug 10, 2004

With the What NOW Manopeace doesnt it come What if?

Yes it does...but its still healthier than dwelling on "I should have" or "I could have"... I like the slogan of today..." JUST DO IT".

WiseFawn

on Aug 10, 2004

What if and if only can drive you a bit nuts. I wrote several poems about if only.

I believe that when you can have moments of complete stillness, you can get many answers. That gut instincts are a valuable thing. But that all happens for a reason. I'll have to see the movie. I like movies that leave you tons of questions. But I always try to remember that I don't need to know all of the answers.

Phoenixboi

on Aug 10, 2004

plus I once went back to the very wrost things that happened in my life and traced them from when I was 3ish and sexually abused to the courtcase at 13 to my nana dying to how I became a Christian to how I met Nick got married and had a baby

Trina I think this movie has uncovered alot of stuff in my life that I have suppressed as well. I think I just need to find a way to sort it all out in my head now.

I know that somewhere there is a lesson and a positive experience to come ... I need to believe that right now or I'll fall apart

I think there is always a positive experience (but is it positive when we think its negative? could the negative bit be the positive bit?) I hope your friend is ok.

Where've you been PB I've missed you this weekend (and where's MadPoet??)

Ive been working and having a break from the net this weekend Im not feeling too well but Im ok. And as for MadPoet?? Wouldnt have a clue? I was thinking the same thing.

Phoenixboi

on Aug 10, 2004

I like the slogan of today..." JUST DO IT".

So if we are at crossroads in our lives and we are presented with many factors or options then which one do we take? Just do it..sure but which one?

Phoenixboi

on Aug 10, 2004

I believe that when you can have moments of complete stillness, you can get many answers. That gut instincts are a valuable thing

This is how Ive basically lived alot of my life Wisefawn. Alot of it hasnt been smooth sailing from it though. But the lessons I have learnt are extremely valuable.

But I always try to remember that I don't need to know all of the answers.

Do you think that we all do know all the answers and that movies like this just re jog our memories?

Texas Wahine

on Aug 10, 2004

Phoenixboi: I agree the The Butterfly Effect was a disturbing and thought-provoking movie. I can think of choices and events in my life that distinctly shaped who I am and the life that I have.

I have made "bad" choices that I see now were wrong, but I would not wish to change because ultimately they created the wonderful life that I have now. I have had experiences in my life that were vile and hurtful, but all these little pieces, good and bad, gave me strength and wisdom and direction that I might not have otherwise had.

I think it's good to remember that the choices you make now are creating your future. If there is a "future" that you desire, you must envision it and realize that you must begin making choices that will get you there. Your past is behind you, the good and the bad, but you have the chance to experience a beautiful future.

Phoenixboi

on Aug 10, 2004

I think it's good to remember that the choices you make now are creating your future. If there is a "future" that you desire, you must envision it and realize that you must begin making choices that will get you there

Hey Texas Wahine

HOw do we know the choices we make now will make our future beautiful? If I look back at the choices Ive made in the past they werent necessarily the best ones but its gotten me to where I am now. SO how do you know which choices will make the future you want, and if they will get you there? I know what you mean though but Im just trying to push the boundaries here and see what will come.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 10, 2004

Phoenixboi: We don't know. That's the beauty of life. We can't predict exactly where we'll go or what we'll become.

The thing is, we can imagine what we want for ourselves and kind of life we want to live. We can't guarantee that we can have that life, but we can do things that support that vision that we have.

For example, if you desire a loving, long term relationship, you can work toward that future by avoiding men who do not share that desire. If you would like to see yourself in a career as an RN, you can create that future by pursuing education and making that a top priority. If you want to own a big 2 story home in Alabama, you could help bring about that future by saving and using credit wisely and making friends and connections in Alabama.

I'm not so naive to believe that we are in control of the world around us, but I do believe that we can help ourselves by knowing what we want and making choices that support that dream. I also believe in recognizing the blessings that we have and accepting the things we've chosen and the experiences we've lived through as part of what has shaped us.

We cannot torture ourselves with our pasts. We must look for the good that may have come from it (even where it seems there is no good) and make the best choices that we know how to make (and know that even then we will screw up, and that's part of life).

Just my humble take on it.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!