The Purpose of Life is to Live it..not to spend all of it searching for the purpose. Live Live Live like every second was your last.
play on words.
Published on June 11, 2004 By Phoenixboi In Blogging
Since having HIV the word positive has meant alot of different things to me.

Pozzie, Poz, Positive.

It's really ironic that the term for living with HIV is Positive.

People keep saying to me be positive. I am. Ive learnt to live with this. Being Positive. Even though I would rather be negative. Im positive. Seems a funny play on words that we use.

The virus works by attacking the immune system. More speciafically it attacks the part of the immune system called the T Cells or Lymphocytes. They are the cells in our body that travel around and spot all the foreign bodies in our system and they attach themselves to it and munch them up.

Why the virus is so effective in taking over the immune system is because these Tcells dont recognise it as a virus. It hides itself in the very DNA of our body and pretends it is one of them, a Tcell. So the body can't recognise it is a virus. The body thinks the virus is part of it. Its a very clever virus. Almost like it has its own consciousness. Its own lifeform.

A bit like the Alien movie with Sigournie Weaver.

So Ive come up with a little theory.

My body doesnt know itself. I dont know myself. So Ive undertaken a journey, a quest to find myself. To find out what it is to be me. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Im learning to be Positive, in the true sense of the term. To see life for what it is. To make the most of all the experiences I have, turn all the experiences into positive ones.

Blogging is a part of this for me.


Comments
on Jun 11, 2004

Im learning to be Positive, in the true sense of the term. To see life for what it is. To make the most of all the experiences I have, turn all the experiences into positive ones.


Phoenixboi~this is very nice writing here! And I have learned a lot about AIDS from your outstanding description of how the virus fools the immune system and such. I mean, I kinda knew this stuff, but I never heard anyone explain it in such a clever way before: I especially liked the comparison to the Alien flicks, etc. You are a true teacher. And you have a gift for helping others to see things they might have been missing before. So thanks! TOTALLY COOL ARTICLE! KEEP 'EM COMING BIG TIME!


~MadPoet


 

on Jun 11, 2004
Mad Poet
the only way I have been able to cope with this all is by using my imagination and try and work it all out in my head. To make everything thats happening to me into something i can understand in simple terms.
Thanks for the encouragement man! Its really really really helping me!
on Jun 11, 2004

Thanks for the encouragement man! Its really really really helping me!


Phoenixboi~don't worry about it dude. I just call 'em like I see 'em. Plus I am a totally chronic insomniac (can you tell? .) so at least I'm not up all alone and everything, and I'm learning new things from you, etc. Not such a bad thing at all.  And don't let that hostile Marvin dude get to you. He is obnoxious like that practically 24/7. But he really likes to lay it on thick when it comes to gay folks. And you don't deserve that at all. So just consider the source big time! . TOTALLY COOL ARTICLE! HOPE TO CHAT AGAIN SOON!


~MadPoet

on Jun 14, 2004
phoenixboi, excuse my slightly late reply. but i just read this and really wanted to share something with you. i am a 35yo married woman. despite my sometimes overactive imagination, trying to imagine how a hiv-positive man a generation younger than i am might feel is like trying to tie my arm in a knot !!!!

but i just read your article, and you know what ?. madpoet is right, you can say difficult and painful things in a clear and unthreatening way that's very easy to relate to. that's a total gift and it's way too rare nowadays.

i admire your honesty, and i will go untangle my arm now

mig XX
on Jun 14, 2004
i am a 35yo married woman. despite my sometimes overactive imagination, trying to imagine how a hiv-positive man a generation younger than i am might feel is like trying to tie my arm in a knot !!!!


miguna, im glad I can somehow make it clearer for you and others to understand. Thanks again for posting!