What is with the recent spate of suicidals on JU? There seems to be a big cry out for help at the moment from some recent bloggers wanting to end it all. Is life really that painful that you want to end it? I spend most of my life trying to find ways to live. Trying to prolong life by taking a huge amount of medication that is extremely toxic to my body yet it is supposed to help fight a virus that is slowly taking it over. I try to manage a range of side effects ranging from extrem...

Im a little confused. Well not really but Id like to see peoples views on this issue. Here we have China. A nation with a heck of alot of people living in it, (currently around 1.2 billion) which has as its leadership a dictator . Currently China occupies Tibet, slaughtered millions of lives in its take over and no one is blinking an eyelid over it. No troops have been sent in, nothing by the international community has been done. This dictatorship has even turned on its people and m...

Tonight I was invited to my nephews 6th class graduation. The night began in the school hall with certificates presented to each member of the class. I was so proud as an Uncle to sit there and see my nephew all of 11 at his first graduation. They then sang a couple of songs and then an imovie presentation of the past year was put on for all to see. This brought a tear to my eye. Watching how the next generation of youth was passing from one stage of their lives to the next. How when ...

There is a song at the moment by Green Day that is very popular here in Oz... the words go like this: Don't want to be an American Idiot Don't want a nation under the new media Can you har the sound of hyteria? The subliminal mind fuck America Welcome to a new kind of tention All across the alienation Where everything isn't ment to be okay Television dreams of tomorow We're not the ones meant to follow For thats enough to argue Maybe im the faggot America I'm not a part of ...

Well today is my last day at being 31. What a year it has been! It started off exactly Jan 1 by my father having a heart attack and being in hospital for the next two weeks. All was calm for the next couple of months and then my eldest sister turned 40. No big deal there except a few weeks later she was arrested, and I spent the day in the docks with her. The next five months was a battle to get her kids back, which she finally did without conviction or criminal record, it was all a...

Its one hour to go and counting... 31 years of life.. doesnt sound like much. On the scale of things it really isnt even a second in the hours of time. But In these 31 years Ive learnt alot about life, about love and about death! Im gonna party tomorrow... cause god damnit it's my birthday! and im gonna show em how it's done! ...I know .. ramblin about nothing.. but hey it isnt everyday your not 31 no longer! LOL

Oh My God. Today at work was so busy. The lines never stopped. People are going crazy! I just wanted them to stop. Go Home people Christmas is cancelled! Stop Maxing out your credit cards. Stop buying endless amounts of Crap so you can feel better about yourselves. Just Stop!! Im buggered.

Ok.. yesterday I came home feeling like shit and wanting everyone to stay home and not come make my life at work a nightmare. Last night though my sister came over and wanted me to come with her to take her two boys to see the various Christmas light displays around peoples homes. So reluctantly I agreed. I was really happy that I did! Wow people have put such an effort in my town this year, it's true they are all trying to outdo each other but in that effort they have really put on a ...

So Im another year older now. 32! Wow didn't think I would make it this far so it's all a bonus from now on! I had a great birthday. I did some shopping in the morning and brought myself some nice shoes. Now believe me that is an effort for me. Im not one to have alot of shoes. I wear a pair of shoes to the death. My last pair was a hand me down from a mate who was going to throw them out because he got new shoes, even though the old shoes were new. So I have now four pairs of shoes. Yay! ...

Well Christmas is just around the corner. My Mother has already started to cook. Being from an Italian family means we eat the whole day till we are so full that we just pass out. But according to her it is never enough. We are always treated to a wonderful feast of food. Here in Oz though it is hot on Christmas day (usually) and so we dont have a hugely hot meal, it is mainly fish and pasta. Lasagna, canneloni, spaghetti... yes all in the one meal, prawns, baked fish, lobsters, balmain b...

The latest on my adventures with HIV.. The last time I went to the doctors a couple of weeks back I told them I was over the effects of Efavrenz. The dreams and not being able to function normally in the mornings is taking its toll on me. SO they once again did a resistence test and I have to wait for the results in a couple of weeks, that is if I have enough virus in my blood to have the test work. My next option would be injecting myself twice a day with a new drug called Fuzeon or T...

As I sit in my lounge room at five minutes to midnight on Christmas eve.. stoned.. Im reminded of a song.. I can't remember who sang it. But the words that come to mind are... "And so this is Christmas And what have you done? Another year over And a new one has begun |And so happy Christmas blah blah blah... la la la" Anyway.. How many years have to go by? And when they all go by then what? Standing at my Aunties crypt yesterday I was confronted with relatives who I h...

The Prayer by Andrea Bocelli.. Sung by Anthony Callea I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go. And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know. Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way. Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace To a place where we’ll be safe. La luce che tu dai Nel cuore restera A ricordarci che L’eterna stella sei. I pray we’ll find your light, And hold it in our hearts When stars go out each night, Remind us where you are.. ...

2005 .. I've termed for me the year of Action. A year when every dream for me will become a reality, where the energy inside me is going to be released and put into play. I had an amazing encounter over the New Year period. I met a wonderful man who in such a short space of time helped me to realise that there is no time like the present. Each moment counts. Every action makes a difference. 2004 was a year of great change for me. Lots of turmoil and inner work which has brought me...